I visited my mom's school today after a really long time. I really can't express how proud I feel of her every time I enter the place. For those of you who don't know what my mom does, she has started a centre called V- Excel for mentally disabled people, including people affected by autism, down's syndrome, mental retardation, learning disablilties, dyslexia and emotional and behaivioral disorders. Its just too beautiful. The school is so colourful and lively. She's helped hundreds of children and parents, and has given many 'disabled' children the oppurtunity to live a life of their own, to work and earn and sustain themselves. The need for such organizations in India is unimaginable. The organization has grown immensely since it was started in 2001 and still, there are innumerable people who need to be helped, who perhaps can not afford it, or who are unaware that there are services available to help them. (Website : www.v-excel.org)
The statistics are terrifying. About 91 out of every 10,000 people (almost 1%) are affected by autism, and this number has been rapidly growing. The cause for autism is not known for sure, though it is believed to have something to do with the levels of toxic substances such as lead and arsenic in the air, and there is no known cure, though autistic people can be helped with therapy and special methods of teaching. There is very little awareness of these disorders in today's society, and funding for autism research is minimal.
I respect my mother for the work she does, and I know that she is doing a huge service to mankind. I can only dream to be half the person she is. Probably, I will not enter special education, but during the course of my life, I hope that I too will be able to reach out and help at least a few people, in what ever way that I can.
ITS RAINING IN CHENNAI!!!!!! Anyone who knows me even remotely knows that I just LOVE the rain. There's just something in the sound that the raindrops make when they fall, the wet smell and of course the feeling of the cold drops of (supposedly) pure water falling on to my face that excites me like nothing else ever can. In the course of the past week, it has rained every day, and I have faithfully gotten quite wet every single one of these days. Saturday night Chinmayi and I went up to the terrace and got completely drenched. Anyone who had seen us would have thought we were raving lunatics. We were jumping, dancing, singing...wow!...I had an amazing time.
Sunday was the laziest day ever. In the morning we (chinmayi and I) went for a swim at the club. It had been ages since I had stepped into a pool. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Went for lunch to Beach Palms. The food wasn't too great, and I'm not too big a fan of Chinese food anyway.
Its raining again now. I so badly want to go up to the terrace, but I shouldn't. There's a massive physics test tomorrow on the magnetic effect of current or some such nonsense. It seems so pointless, the way my life has been. I shuttle from tuition to school to tuition but I honestly don't think I'm learning anything at all. I think I'll go now and try to study. Feeling guilty. I'll blog later.
Until now, I've been defending the Indian education system without really giving the matter much thought. But come to think of it, the system does suck. Its an extremely lousy system. A system which causes people to commit suicide can by no stretch of the imagination be called a good one. Granted, it has its plus points, but the cons of the system are so many that these can easily be overlooked. Then why am I here? Why didn't I just stay in the US if that system was more beneficial than this one? It amazes me that my friends who seem to be so against America itself seem to think that it would be better for a person to grow up in the US than here in India. The education system, if isolated and looked at only from the academic point of view is better in the US, but there are many more factors which contribute into moulding the character, ability, resourcefulness and intelligence of a person. The educational environment in the American schools inculcates very different morals, values and standards than those in India. It is because of these basic differences that I feel extremely grateful that I now live here in India and not there in the US.
Why do people gossip so much? What is it that they gain by spreading rumors about people about whom in reality, they know nothing about? I am not claiming to have never gossiped. It is actually quite entertaining. But people need to know where to draw the line. I don't think they realize how hurtful it can be. Trust me. I know.
It's been a while since I blogged. Life's been ok. I've been thinking a lot. About everything. About my friends, family, school...about my future...about music, academics....about myself. Thanks to Dhruva's blog, I'm thinking about poor people in Africa. Basically I'm in a highly confused state. I was probably less confused before I got into this thinking spree (couldn't think of another word). Everyone is always thinking. Its a fact. Sometimes, you think harder than others. The topics I have mentioned are extremely suitable for hard thinking. Once you start thinking about any of the above mentioned things, you can't stop. The harder you try to think about something as inane and nonsensical as the things you're usually thinking about, the harder it becomes to stop thinking about the sensible and frankly, quite scary things that you usually don't think about. I don't know why I want to stop thinking about these things. Probably, some time in the future when I am thinking about nonsensical things, I will think to myself - "Instead of thinking about this nonsense, why don't I think about somethink sensible?" But quite obviously, sense does not come to me on demand, and when it does come, it scares the shit out of me as it is doing now, and leaves me resolving to study harder, practice harder, try to improve myself as a person. I will study for at least 2 hours in a day, I tell myself. I need to do well, its 12th standard, my life depends on the results of the board exam. I tell myself I will wake up by 5:30 or 6 every morning and practice. These resolutions usually last for about a day. Then, somehow, they manage to worm their way out of my life, leaving me as useless as I was before. So now, I think to myself, why resolve? You promise yourself you will do all these things, but you never do. Where does that leave me? Resolving to keep my resolutions. Ha...quite a vicious cycle, isn't it? I'm confused. Confused about everything. Confused about my family, my friends, my future. Myself. 'What will you do after the 12th standard?' everyone asks me. 'What will I do after my 12th standard?' I ask myself. God alone knows, and I have a suspicion that even he (she?) isn't too sure right now. Medicine? No way. Engineering? No. Viz Com? Nah. B Sc Physics or Chemistry? Maybe. So that leaves me with....well...nothing. Nothing concrete at any rate. I want to sing, but as much as I resolve, I never practice properly. Do I have what it takes? Maybe. Can I count on it? No. So now what? All I know is that whatever it is that I do, I want to do it in Chennai so I won't have to leave my music classes. So now, I'm left with 'after the 12th standard, I will stay in Chennai'. Not too encouraging, I must say. And I'm singing 'joyful, joyful'.
