Wednesday, January 11, 2006

How to do blabberation.

Kapow! *hi*

Yes, exams are going on. Yes, I'm doing phailinks. Whee! The only thing I seem to have gained from these exams is refinement in the art of blabberation. And as always, here I am, ready to impart the knowledge to all of you. One area in which blabberation is useful is when one doesn't know the answer to a question asked, particularly in an exam or test. This post will be pertaining to this form of blabberation. So here goes...

1. When blabbering in an exam, it often happens that one has no clue about the answer to a particular question. In such a case, it is important to remember to connect the answer to the question is some way or the other. This is ususally done by using words present in the question.

For example:
Q: What is meant by "switching circuit" in a telephone system? (1 mark)

A: A telephone system is a circuit that is good in switching.

Note: The more the number of words from the question that are used in the answer, the better.

2. Sometimes, it is a good idea to guess what is being asked for while answering the question. With the help of this information, we can change the way we phrase the answer and increase the likelihood of getting some (*cough*) marks.

For example, consider the following question.

Q: How are optic fibres used in communication? (1 mark)

At first, we may answer as follows
A: Communication and optics are used in fibres.

However, this answer is wrong. To increase the accuracy of our answer, we read the question carefully. Now, when reading the question, we must note the position of the question mark (?). In the question in consideration, the question mark comes after the word communication. Therefore, the last word in the answer should be communication. So a more accurate answer would be

A: Used in optics, fibres are communication.

3. Use abbreviations. It makes the teacher think you know more than you do. Don't be afraid to get creative. The weirder they are, the better. The teachers spend time trying to decode your abbreviations, and if you're lucky, they'll think you know more than they do and give you marks for it.

For example:
Q: What are the hormones produced by the pituitary gland? (2 marks)

First, examine the question carefully. It is a bit challenging to keep repeating the words in the question in a way that would make sense. Moreover, when a question is asked for 2 marks, it is almost certain that the teacher is expecting an answer with words that aren't there in the question. It may happen that you don't know any words that are applicable for this question. That's where the abbreviations come in. A satisfactory answer would be:

A: The hormones produced by the pituitary gland are ADKIRHFVAGZMU, IYEHDB, KYDGAQ, HDGCBY, and EYENWOGX.

4. When you are asked to provide a reason for a particular phenomenon or property of a substance, there is one and only one way to answer. Think of a reason that makes sense to you. Write the exact opposite. You'll almost definitely get marks for it.

For example
Q: Semiconductors are doped. Explain why.

The first thing that comes to mind is that semiconductors get doped for the same reason that anyone else gets doped - for fun. Now, think of something that is not fun, that is the complete opposite of fun. There's your answer.

A: Semiconductors are doped so that they can study. That's why.

5. The above methods are most useful when answering short answers for 1 - 2 marks. However, to answer questions for more than 2 marks, it is vital to know how to extend the answers for a minimum of 3 - 4 sentences. For this, there is only one thing to do - blabber. Blabber shamlessly. Write anything that comes to mind. Use abbreviations. Use them all.

For example
Q: Define catenation and illustrate it with reference to sulphur chemistry.

A: Catenation is the secret country of cats. This can be illustrated with reference to sulphur chemistry. The sulphur chemistry of cats is a part of catenation - it forms the JQPAUTXV, the AOAEHNH and the UIELVUWBQ. The chemistry of cats is like sulphur and is stinky-poo. In fact, sulphur chemistry is the stinkiest of all the stinky-poo cat chemistries. In catenation, there aren't only chemis trees. There are all sorts of trees. That's why its a very beautiful secretest of the secret countries. It spreads joy and happiness all around with the help of sulphur chemistry and adorable coochie-pie kitties. Cho chweet.

That's the basic idea of blabberation. It gets better with practice, and if you're in the 12th standard, you don't need to worry, because unless you're really padips, you'll be getting one heck of a lot of it.

Anyway, I shall go now. Going to study (*wicked grin*). Much love. Comment!!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

happy new year!

Hi peoples!

I know I wished everyone a happy new year in my last post, but that was written before the new year started, so apparently that 'happy new year' doesn't qualify.

So here's to all of you. Have a wonderful year! I hope all of you get what's best for you, and what you want if they're the same :D. I'm in a bit of a preachy mood right now.

All of you writing the boards with me - I know it doesn't seem like much of a new year right now, but this is one of the most important years in our lives. No one has the least bit of an idea about where all of us will be next year, what we'll be doing, what we would have become. Things are going to change whether you like it or not, and soon. So just take a second to look around you, count your blessings and tell your friends that you love them.
And make sure you FREAK OUT once the boards get over. Especially all you science students...if you're finding it half as hellish as I am.

Ok dudes. Have fun, and keep smiling!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Much love