Today...
Today is Sunday, October 16th, 2005.Millions of babies took their first breath of air today. Millions of people took their last breath today. Today may have been a very special day in the lives of many, many people.
But for me, what is today? Just another day. Just another ordinary day. Eat, sleep, study for a while, go for tuition, and then here I am, back home. Blogging. After today gets over, it will disappear. Sunday, October 16th, 2005 will disappear into the nothingness that most of the days of my (almost) 17 years of life have disappeared into. A few years from now, I won't remember today. Heck, a few days from now, I probably won't remember today. Why? Because I haven't made today something for me to remember. I have not lived my life today in a way that will make me look back upon this day as...anything.
Its not that I want to remember today as the day of a particular occurence or incident. That I can't expect. And I'm not looking for fun either. I want each and every single day of my life to stand out because of a feeling. The feeling that I could not have lived that day any better. Or any more. The feeling that I could not have given myself any more in life because of the way that I have been throughout the day. The feeling that I have given the world my 100% all through that day.
But how? Everyone needs to eat, sleep. I definitely need to study. I do whatever I have to, I waste some time. Even if I think back, I don't see what I could have done differently today. Wake up earlier? Study more? I know that I will not go to sleep tonight feeling satisfied with my day. I know that I will feel that there is something missing, that there is something more that I could have done. But what is that something? I have no answer.
The more I think about it, the more I realize just how short life is. The past few years of my life have gone past in a flash. The next few will too. Where will I be? What will I be doing? These are questions that only time can answer. And I'm not in a hurry. But my fear is that I will wake up one morning, say 15 years from today, and I will think to myself that I have not given myself what I deserve. That I am not being what I can be - what I'm capable of being. And that October 16th, 2020 will be another day that disappears into nothingness. Without that feeling.
'Live' - its a funny word. Most people don't live. They just exist. I don't want to be one of those people. I want to live. LIVE. I want to give myself everything I can. And by doing so, by making me more, I want to give the world everything I can.
Excuse my rambling. There are too many thoughts in my head. I don't know if this post has made even a bit of sense.
I once heard that every single person starts dying from the moment they're born. It's true. Think about it.
blabbered by Aditi @ 9:12 PM
18 Comments:
(Applause)
Truly Inspired.
No Day in which you have learnt something new is truly a waste. It doesn't have to be academic, it can be anything. The fact that you have devoted event this small amount of time to give thought to the fact that you want to live, not just exist, shows that today is not a waste.
hey aditi..
U write really well. I like u r blogs dudette..
can I give u a small piece of advice..I know teenagers hate advice...especially with studies...
Study the most difficult chapter in u r syllabus.... concentrate and study...
U would feel proud at the end of the day that u had accomplish something...
Y not Organic Chemistry...I figured from u r blog that it was the most difficult thing for u...actually it is the easiest...Better than physical and inorganic...seriously aditi..and can I tell u an easy way...write the chemical equations...I know u knew it...but felt like telling this...
Henceforth Oct 16th would be a day on which Aditi Mastered a chapter in organic chemistry...
Kavya
Dear Aditi,
I am just twice your age...and have similar questions as you indicated.
I have come a long way in life...but still there is this nagging feeling...a strong discontent sometimes with what we acheive in a day.
I have not been one of those guys who read a lot of self-improvement books (may be I should start reading)...but I am beginning to think that with our lives being complicated like hell these days...we should start having more sophisticated tools to manage ourselves. Being in the world of business and its related processes, I see how 'planning' - long term/short term, how a 'mission statement', 'vision statement', budgeting, review of status, project etc. etc. are all crucial. Most successful companies use tools like these to succeed.
I think we should try to adapt some of these principles ('adapt').
I will start doing some research in this area on how to develop such framework for us. I always ask for Contingency plans and the like when I look at business processes...but we rarely have contingency plans of our own. Yes, mostly in our mind...but with the complexity...may be time to start treating ourselves as a corporation.
Well, those are some of the thoughts I have been going through off late.
You are at an age where you are at a critical phase (every age is critical I guess)....since they will have long term impact and will shape things to come. Hence, if there are any ideas you can get from my thoughts...I wish you all the best.
I think it's normal(atleast for me) to experience feelings of emptiness. Unlike the others in this page, I am not going to advice you, because according to me, in such matters thinking on your own and following your own routes make more sense....
The only difference is that, unlike you, my feelings of emptiness and discontent & hatred & all that has given me something special, and that is creativity. I see myself different from the world around me, and if you do, it's not a wrong thing. Advice can be very helpful. But only to an extent. Whoever this "anonymous" is, he/she is not suggesting a relevant solution to the problems you mentioned in your post, or atleast I don't think so. Think about it. Give it a fair thought. Maybe that's what will drive you. I'm no one to tell you what to think.......
hmph.
So much for no advice dhruva.
It's amazing how these seemingly inconspicuous thoughts can make people launch off into verse.
Remark : I do include myself in that, I am not a hypocrite
hmm... every one does sort of take advantage that they' will or MIGHT see the next day or next year...
im on teh outside!... im not kidding... i can see it... inside we're not sure... but we're still takin advantage of it
are you always this sad and distressed? cuz if ur u can get psych counseling u know. jus askin
hey! we teenagers don hate advice. well we sorta do if u always give us nothing but advice
Hey...Aditi is not this sad always!. Most of the time she uses her imagination to 'observe' things and write them in a funny way.
Anyway, the reason I came back to your blog was...I was thinking of your millions number...and then was trying to do some math and figured that it can't be millions that are born in a given day. Say, if 3 million are born in a day...that will make a billion in an year. Surely, there are not billion people being born in a given year...though I guess it is reduced by number of people passing away. Ok Ok...its not a great topic...but I am thinking that it might be just about a millon or may be only in thousands...hundreds of thousands that people are born everyday.
After writing above...just googled and found this link:
http://www.wholesomewords.org/missions/greatc.html#birdatrate
Apparently its around 350k.
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i cant really decide what i want to be when i want to grow up. and i am in my last year of high school. i mean i know which college i want to go to. but i jus dont know what i want to major in. what should i do?
note the sentence " when i want to grow up" thats cuz i dun wanna grow up jus yet. i m havin th time of my life right now n who knows wats gonna happn when i grow up. ooh and harry potter is releasin in the U.S on november 14th. man i cant wait to go n see.
hey aditi,
may i ask you something?
well here it is.
have you ever done like a slam book biography to ur friends or something? if so tell me something good that i can put in my slam book so my friends can fill it out. well thats all. thanks a lot.
rash - I'm not sure what you mean by a slam book biography...
anonymous - very ironic that you're asking me...! i've been having pretty much the same question...I love harry potter!! and daniel radcliffe for that matter :D
sorry i havent been commenting or doing anything much...my comp was screwed up for a while...but its back now, no fear :)
ei blutty walnut put up a new posht fasht
Ninju..
nice post aditi...
when i find my mind drifting to such quesstions i usually go and do something stupid, to make other people smile or do something kind. At the end of the day even thou these deeds are ntn major and big, they jst give u the satisfaction of having done something.
Dhruva's said something very correct.. its how u chanellise such stuff..
surya, im half ur age and all i can say is that NO one can live life acc to a PLAN. its like this.... when i make a plan, im thinking something..tomorrow i might not be thinking about the same something and wud rather do something better.. but since i already have a PLAN, i have to follow it, 'cuz thats what plans are for... which makes me un happy and gives the feeling of unsatisfaction.
..not making sense? read my post on this...this place is too small for explaining my point.. and dhruva's gna accuse me of lecturing then...
:D superb post aditi!!
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