How to be a good teacher
Greetings, everyone!I've realized that the teachers in our school have quite a tough time. Being a good teacher in any of the Chennai schools is not half as easy as it seems. And as all schools ensure that the students have the very best of teachers for all subjects, their requirements in hiring teachers are extremely specific. So I've decided to tell all of you what exactly these requirements are, just in case you want to give it a shot....
Disclaimer: This post is just for fun. Please don't take offense.
1. Communication skills of teachers are very important. Teachers should pronounce certain words in specific ways. For example,
- square : skwa-yar
- point : po-yint
- a : ye
- example : yek-jaam-puL
- bubble : bubbuL
- organic : aar-go-nic
- thrower : thro-yer
- unit: yoo-nich
- nine: na-yan
- have: ghawe
- globalamine: go-paal-a-min
A few examples are:
- the word 'lengthy' should always be used in place of 'long'. The usage of the word 'long' is strictly prohibited. "Your exam paper will be long" or "Don't write very long answers for 2 mark questions" will not be tolerated. Instead, a true teacher would say "Your exam paper will be very lengthy " or "Make sure the answers for 2 mark questions are not lengthy"
- words such as 'difficult' or 'hard' must never be used. Instead, they use the word 'cumbersome'.
- "This is the worst class/batch ever!"
- "With this attitude, all of you will surely fail the board exam"
- "This attitude reflects on your poor upbringing."
- "All of you are useless specimens in the class"
- (In dramatic tone) "I call this sum...the DO OR DIE sum"
- "Have you no shame?!?"
- "Do you think I am a stupid?"
- "How can you forget to do your homework? Do you forget to eat? Do you forget to come to school?"
- "Shall we postpone your test? I have guests coming to visit. I have to go home and prepare paal payasam. I will not be able to set a question paper"
- "Why do you come to school, man?"
- "Why do you lie on the bench? Do you not possess a vertebral column?"
- "Does this classroom look like a park to you?"
Note: The use of the word 'here' is mandatory. No other words can be used. The only modifications that can be made are in the volume or tone of the word 'here'.
4. The teacher must make the utmost effort to destroy any hint of interest that the student has in a subject. (This qualification usually comes quite naturally to all of the teacher)
5. The teacher must possess no knowledge whatsoever of the subject she is appointed to teach. (This is optional. Some teachers do have a hint of a clue about their subjects.)
6. The teacher must have an innate hatred for all students that she teaches.
These are only the main requirements. There are some more which, obviously, are of much less importance, such as the educational qualifications of the teacher, etc etc.
So thats that. Some very important information for all of you. Please keep it in mind.
Life's ok otherwise. Holidays....been wasting loads of time. I'm really dreading school opening again. Its hell from here onwards, as I have been assured of by many people (thanks, pk). Anyway, I shall go now...tata...
:D Please comment!!!!!!!!!
Lotss of love...
blabbered by Aditi @ 9:23 PM
42 Comments:
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This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
superb post...
... u've jst managed to make me miss school again... damn u !! You know these are the things that make school life the bestest ever ( all u juniors can disagree with me for now, i'll ask u for ur opinion a year later)...
...and you will do superbly aditi, dnt worry.
adios!
hey nice one di!
really funny..it was more of how to be a teacher like TPS...u forgot shobha s famous line.." actually it is nothing it is just for 5 marks!"
damn nice post pn! bledsy funny. but if a teacher sees this, god help you.
That is so sad. I feel amazed that I am sane enough to read this post.
Not bad. First time you've actually managed to make me laugh.........
whodat? dhruva?
ok this is not the dhruva person.
whoever he or she is. and yes. surya is right. ttfn means tata for now. smart man. nyways my comment on this blog is, u have got the indian school teachers exactly right. and as for american teachers, they are so cool!!! (unlike my math teacher (mr. young) who doesnt know any other word than test test test!!!! and my english teacher, (ms.mcpike) who on the other hand knows three words test test homework homework and torture torture!!! 12th grade is ok aside from that. my chem teach, econ teach, US government teach, and ,my choir teach are all ok. damn except for my P.E. teach (physical education) who makes us run 5 miles each day!!! damn is she out of her fuckin mind????? anyways really good blog. and sorry to take out my life on u guys.
buh bye
Thank you, radu, pk, shyshe, and anon(s??)...
though i have a feeling both anons are doogie...
I love you soo much da Adi. But I ain't sure if you will love me in return. Will you ?
well Aditi requires guts to post this.. Relly as shyshe says, God Help you if any teacher sees this...
And Anonymous, who is in love with Aditi.. whaddddda wonderful way to express your looove........
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
dude... unless u reveal ur identity, i m not so sure she will love u back. and who the HELL is doogie???
do you guys think i should take it off my blog? i dint realize...getting scared now...
Do not be afraid Aditi! Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time
hai...ur in BVM...woooow...i was a stud of ur nearby school which sucks big time..ie..Patricks...i alwayz thought i shouldve made it to BVM and had enuf fun...seems lyk indeed you are....mmm..so u chillin still at skool....which std are u in????...am now stuck up in BITS,Pilani-Goa Campus..where they are makin my lyf hell..hardly any time to loaf around....cya then mate...njoy lyf...school is where ur supposed to be havin a loooooooot of fun...barin the coll days.....cya...
aditi, you need oodles of courage to post this - are you planning to change schools? :-). Hope none of your teachers sees this. or for that matter, any jealous classmate, who could pottu kuduthufy to teacher!
Good stuff that - if you can dot your i's and dash your t's a trifle more closely, you have the makings of a good writer.
Teachers are fun:Whenever I get to open my blog, I will share some funny stuff. To give you a sample:
To the whole class:"all of you should score above class average" - this from a Maths professor at IIT :-)
haha...nope not planning to change schools : )
i'm in the 12th standard...i don't think any teachers in my school read blogs, and im sure that none of my friends will go say anything...so...
anyway, only a few months left in school!! I'm going to miss it like MADDD....
love is like taking hot chocolate which takes you by surprise???
Apart from burning your mouth and throat, you wouldnt be able to put anything in your mouth for quite some time, since your tastebuds would have almost died....
Now how much more romantic can we get ......
hehehe..
aditi this declaration of love really beats the "loue letter" i got!!! :D and its a superb post... and u shudnt take it off ur blog..!! do NAT worry.
Aditi,
May be editing your post to remove specific reference to BVM...could be a risk management strategy.
oh and the previous comment was by the american genius.
oh and the previous comment was by the american genius.
lol toofunnyy these comments are!?!?!?!?!?!
must be koze doogster or some one else;)
Hey anonymous moron....nice to meet you. How are you doing? Are you planning to find some gut to reveal your identity sometime? If you are, please let me know, will you?
oh...another word that teachers have to learn to pronounce properly is nine.
its pronounced na-yan
hilo effreebody.
Some errors in Aditi's Post:
While most of the observations are accurate, some of them are a little exaggerated. "Cumbersome" is not really a high-frequency word. Lengthy is. They use "lengthy" even for something like Cumbersome.
Plus, our teachers never talk about paal payasam for their guests in front of us.
Another observation: Another oft repeated remark is:
"How can you not have the time for studying? What else are you doing at home? Are you cooking for your family?" - Although that is less frequent now than it used to be.
I don't think any teacher should be allowed to teach unless he or she enjoys teaching. Most of our teachers are just sadistic aayabuggers who don't enjoy teaching; they enjoy torturing students and putting them in as much pain as possible.
the paal payasam was shashikala miss, kogi...remember? she said for a physics test in the 11th...toooooo funny...
and they do use cumbersome quite a bit...
seriously!!!!
kaushik.... enjoy a post for what it is and stop finding mistakes!!
Aditi, you had a point. Kaushik, very true in saying that teachers should really enjoy teaching else its a pain for the students. You may want to check out my post on this topic :
http://kondattam.blogspot.com/2005/08/schools-can-be-fun-if-only.html
ok people. i give up. i think we ( this dhruva person and me) got off to a bad start. oh and by the way. i am not a guy. i am a girl. so stop refering to me as him. DO YA HEAR ME?????? sorry if anything i said was of any offense to anyone. and in the comment that made the genius jump on me, I CRITICIZED AMERICA!!! and fyi I LOVE INDIA. anyways bye people
I hope the person who confessed the love to Aditi wasn't a "She"
ok this is the american person or whatever i am called here. and i definetely did not confess my love to anyone except a guy. so please dont go to that extent of imagination
I am wiser on this subject now that I've read your blog on hewlett packard printer I was impressed with the information presented. I have seen another blog with related information hewlett packard printer
paal payasam. thats a good one.
Hey Aditi..
May be you already know about this girl Tilly Smith..but I was just reading wikipidea and this article made me think of posting the link here...with all the discussions around schools and what we study..
It was just an interesting read by itself to share.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tilly_Smith
surya - wow! thats really amazing...the tilly smith story...maybe education is of some use after all....:D
and changing times - thanks....
Not really into blogging..but chanced upon your blog. Q Found this quite funny..
- Thamizan
Not really into blogging..but chanced upon your blog. Q Found this quite funny..
- Thamizhan
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